The Show We Left Paused
his continue watching row hasn't moved in six weeks. i check some nights just to see if it finally has.
we split in march but neither of us canceled the account. it felt like a bigger conversation than either of us wanted to have, over a jacket he left behind and a toothbrush i didn't throw out until i was sure.
his profile's still there, third one down. i don't watch anything on it, i have my own, but some nights i check his continue watching row like it's a pulse. episode four of the show we started together and never finished. it hasn't moved in six weeks.
i tell myself i'm checking because i'm curious if he found someone new to watch it with. that would explain it. some nights i almost want that, an easy reason, someone to be annoyed at instead of nothing.
but nothing changes. same paused frame, same six weeks. what i'm actually checking for isn't him moving on. it's proof he's exactly where i left him, stuck at the same part, keeping time with me whether he means to or not.
i don't press play. i just look, close it, and tell myself i won't check again tomorrow.
Did this one stay with you?
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