I Didn't Wave the Lights Back
If I sit still long enough the office lights click off. Tonight I didn't wave them back on.
I stayed late again. not because the work needed it. because going home means the day's actually over, and i'd rather it just keep being today.
The motion lights in the far half of the floor clicked off an hour ago. if i sit still long enough mine go too, and i have to wave an arm to bring them back. i waved.
The cleaner came through around one, said the thing she always says, "you again." i said it back, "me again." that's the most anyone's said to me since lunch.
I reread an email i sent at nine, the one i worded four different times, and it still sounds like someone trying too hard to sound fine.
The HVAC shut off at some point. you don't notice the sound of a building until it stops. the quiet has a temperature.
I'm not behind on anything. that's the part i keep turning over. i could just go home. i keep finding one more thing to fix in a place that pays me to be someone steadier than i am.
When the lights went off again i didn't wave. just sat in it a minute. it was the most relaxed i'd felt all day.
Did this one stay with you?
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