A Recurring Event Called Us

my phone buzzes with tomorrow's schedule while i'm scrolling in the dark. three meetings, one dentist appointment i keep pushing back, and under thursday there it is again, an all day event with no location, called us.

i made that four years ago on a phone i don't own anymore, set to repeat forever because forever felt like a fun thing to type at twenty two. it survived a phone upgrade and a job change. it migrated over anyway, quiet, like it refused to be left.

nobody at this job has heard your name. tonight it synced into a shared calendar with my new team, sitting there next to a budget review, unlabeled to them, invisible unless you click it.

i click it every year. i don't add anything. i just look at the word for a second like it's still filed somewhere official, like a server backed up whatever we were even after we didn't.

i should delete it. i tell myself i forgot how, that ending a recurring event mid cycle is more trouble than it's worth, that i'll deal with it after the budget review. i close the app instead and let tomorrow's version of me decide, the same way i have for three years running.