Her Show Is Paused in April

we split the streaming password in college, four of us, back when splitting a password felt like a small forever. her profile is still the second one on the screen. the little cartoon avatar she picked as a joke. it's been there so long i don't see it anymore, the way you stop seeing a photo on the wall.

i saw it tonight. i was hovering to pick mine and the cursor drifted over hers and the screen said, in that quiet way, continue watching, and there was a show, three episodes in, paused somewhere in april.

we didn't fight. that's the part i keep getting stuck on. there was no fight. we just texted less, then less, then it was birthdays, then it was the thumbs up on the birthday, then it was this. a paused show on a profile on an account we both still pay our quarter of, two strangers funding a thing neither of us uses together anymore.

i could text her. it's right there, the whole thread, last message from october, mine, unanswered, not coldly, just unanswered the way busy people leave things.

i didn't text her. i clicked my own profile and watched something i'd already seen. her show is still paused in april. i think mine is too, somewhere. i think a lot of us are paused somewhere in april and just haven't pressed anything since.