Forty Dollars Out of Someday

The account's still named someday, from when I opened it six years ago half as a joke with myself. Every other Friday since, fifty dollars goes in on autopilot. I don't check the total. Looking makes it real, and if it's real I have to explain why I haven't gone anywhere yet.

Tonight I had the banking app open to confirm the transfer, and a delivery app open in the other tab. Dumplings, extra dumplings, the kind of order that costs more than it should at one in the morning. My thumb was over the confirm button on the food with the account balance sitting right underneath it. I moved forty out of someday instead of putting fifty in. First time in six years the number's gone the wrong way.

Mara actually did the thing two years ago. Sold her car, took the job in Lisbon, sends photos of a kitchen not much bigger than mine. I tell people I'm still deciding. I've been still deciding since the account had four digits in it.

I'll put the forty back Friday. I already know I will. I just don't want to think too hard about why, when it came down to it, my thumb picked the dumplings over someday.